I remember stumbling on this site years ago, just found it again today in a side-effect google tangent:
"David... David got me salmon for my birthday. Not out to dinner for salmon, no, he bought. Me. A. Salmon."
--A woman in the restroom at a climbing gym
"I don't call him 'Mr. Serious Artist' anymore."
"Why? *chuckle* Did he actually smile at something?"
"Ah, I'll miss stalking stoic boy. *pause*Anyway no, I saw him on one of those scooters, and after that I couldn't take him and his 'melancholy art' seriously."
--A girl behind the counter at a cafe, and a customer
"I think general stupidity, as opposed to fatal stupidity, is harder to evolutionize out though. So you've got some dim cats, and some bright cats, but no cats that run into walls until they're comatose, or jump out windows into traffic."
"I suppose you're right, evolution's slow. And if we did wind up with a breed of sentient cats, we probably couldn't feed them cat food anymore."
--A girl and a guy walking on Oxford st
"Here, here, gimme a funny point. What's big and purble and eats rocks?"
"A big purple rock eater!"
"I hate you."
--Two guys in the parking lot next to my building
"She thought that my T-shirt that says 'Mind the gap' was a political statement about corporations."
--A girl in Berkeley Market