One time I was surfing in waves far larger than my ability to handle them. There were very few people out so I was more or less alone with nobody near me. I took off on a wave and wiped out. I was held under water for quite some time, rolling around. When I struggled to the surface again I realized my surfboard was no longer attached to my leg leash and was nowhere in sight. I was now in the area where the waves were crashing down; the water was way too rough and I was too far out to give me any hope of making it to shore swimming. After a few minutes of struggling and making no progress and seeing no one around me I started realizing that this was probably it for me. I was going to die out there. My strength was almost gone. I had been knocked under water several times by huge waves. I knew I would not be able to struggle to the surface one more time after the next one hit me. Moments later two surfers who had noticed me finally made their way over and rescued me. And here is the part that I want to relate, because maybe Sean had this moment too. I hope he did. After becoming exhausted fighting to stay on the surface, when I realized I wasn't going to make it a great calm came over me. I was truly at peace with this being the end; I'll never forget the feeling and ever since that day I've hoped that it would be there with me again whenever the real end came. I thought about the people I loved and the people that loved me and I just wanted to tell them "it's ok, not a bad way to go" and I hoped they would understand.Sean, I hope you're at peace.